KidLead - Kids Should Be Treated Equally... Right?

My wife and I used to debate about treating our children the same. When one gets something, the other should as well. If it's expensive, the other gift should be expensive too. At Christmas, they should both get a similar number of gifts with a similar price tag involved.

I was the one vying for some separation of equality. My son is 10... my daughter is 8. My son is male... you get the picture. There are way too many distinquishing factors to just say - all things should be equal. Fairness is not defined by equality.

From the book KidLead, by Alan E. Nelson, we find a second common way that adults shut down the natural experssion of youthful leaders... Treating Siblings And Peers The Same.

Most parents can identify that their children are so very different. Maybe it has to do with birth order or their gender. Maybe it's some sort of passion or personality. Many things can affect a child's unique wiring.

From the book, "If we fail to distinguish differences and respond to them appropriately, we do a disservice to our children, even though our intent is to treat them fairly."

We'll end up, in the name of fairness, failing to develop the youth in our lives and their leadership will suffer. We can still maintain our family values, but maybe we'll want to create some unique, effective, and far different learning opportunities for our kids. However, we don't have to equalize the time, cost and elaborateness of each opportunity.

It applies with discipline as well. A compliant child might respond to a stern look for your disciplinary action. A strong willed child will typically laugh at such attempt of behavioral training. They often need a more 'in-your-face' approach to accomplish the same result. Kids cannot be treated as equal... cause they're not.

Probably the most consistent way to develop a young leader is one on one time. Consistent and focused attention with a child is probably the optimal way to tap in to their quirks and individuality. When we begin to see the depth of who they are and, quite possibly, where some of their 'acting out' or defiance is sourced... then we have opportunities to capitalize and hone in on their potential as a leader.

I love this book.